Showing posts with label childhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label childhood. Show all posts

Friday, May 19, 2017

How Far Will Your Ripples Go?

Last week, I went with my friend Marjie to UC Berkeley to see the Scottish Ballet's stunning performance of Tennessee Williams' famous play "A Streetcar Named Desire." It was my first time going to a professional ballet performance---my only previous ballet experience was attending community performances of "The Nutcracker." I always enjoyed "The Nutcracker" and was always impressed by the talent of the ballerinas. Still, I was not expecting to feel so emotionally moved and enraptured as I watched the performance last night.

The dancers conveyed so much with their bodies and expressions; I forgot they were not speaking in words. Because they were speaking in movement. Even without dialogue, they were able to capture the aching hope and despair of Williams' play, and bring his story to life in a new way. What's more, this performance imagined and fleshed out a vivid backstory for Blanche's character, inspired by the original title Tennessee Williams considered for the play: "The Moth." The ballet closed with a vulnerable portrayal of Blanche as a moth, struggling to get close to the light. Illuminated in a spotlight centerstage, one of her hands fluttered skyward like a moth's delicate wings. A hush descended over the audience and some people even gasped, viscerally moved by the image, and then the curtain fell to thunderous applause.

I wish Tennessee Williams could have been there to see this interpretation of his play as a ballet. I think he would have been pleased to see his story brought to life in this new way, filled with the tension and drama of music and dance.

 


I have felt a connection to Tennessee Williams ever since last Thanksgiving, when my family and I traveled to New Orleans and tracked down the apartment that he had lived in during his New Orleans days at the end of his life. Serendipitously, while we were outside, taking photos and reading the small plaque affixed to the front wall, a man who lived there just happened to be returning home. He introduced himself as Brobson and invited us inside for a drink; he had lived there for many years and had known Tennessee Williams. He kindly welcomed us inside and shared many stories, even taking us around to the backyard to see the pool where Tennessee used to relax in the afternoons. (My dad wrote a terrific two-part column about our visit with Brobson, which you can read here on his website.)

Before that day, Tennessee Williams had been larger-than-life to me; a name in a list of Great Writers I Admire; a photo on a Wikipedia page. But seeing where he had lived and meeting someone who had known him turned him into a real person. There were surely days he struggled to write, as I sometimes do. Days when he doubted himself. Days when he wanted to give up. "A Streetcar Named Desire" was once merely a glimmer of an idea on the edge of his consciousness.

Thankfully, he wrote the idea down, and he kept writing until the play was finished. Even when it was hard. Even when there were a million other things he could have been doing, or would have rather been doing. Even when he wondered if the words he was painstakingly stacking up, one after the next after the next, would amount to anything at all.

Tennessee Williams had no way of knowing how much his plays would impact people and how far the ripples of his creativity would extend. He had no way of knowing that on a Thursday evening in Berkeley thirty-seven years after his death, hundreds of people would be moved to tears from a new portrayal of the characters he had dreamed up.

None of us know how far our own ripples will go. The gifts we create. The lives we touch. The kind words we share. All of these are stones dropped into water. What was once still is now in motion. 

You have no idea how your daily actions might inspire others. What you do and make today might affect someone tomorrow, or next week, or ten years from now. Others in the future might learn from you and build upon what you have done, creating something of their own that is entirely new and wonderful, something else that will launch more ripples out into the world.




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Back when I was in elementary school, I wrote and self-published a small book of stories and poems. Nearly two decades later, I received an email from a composer named Alex Marthaler at Carnegie Mellon University. He was creating a song-cycle around the theme of childhood and adulthood, and he had somehow discovered my little book. Would it be okay if he used some of my poems as lyrics for the songs he wanted to compose?

Yes! I quickly responded. Yes, that would be amazing! 

Would I be willing to write a few companion poems, responding to the themes of the poems I had written as a child, now from an adult perspective? 

Yes, yes! What a fun project! 

And it was an extremely fun project, unlike anything else I had done before or since. I looked at the poems my child-self had written with fresh eyes and new appreciation, and I wrote new poems that were in conversation with them. It was like talking to the girl I had once been, and listening to her replies. She helped me remember why I first fell in love with writing to begin with. The magic of setting your thoughts down onto paper, and then releasing those words into the universe. Like launching hundreds of miniature paper airplanes into the sky. 

I sent him the new poems, and a few months later, Alex sent me the recordings of the songs. Listening to them, I was blown away with wonder. Who would have imagined that a few little poems I wrote in pencil on lined notebook paper at my kitchen table when I was nine years old, would one day be turned into beautiful songs performed at Carnegie Mellon?

 
{Me in fifth grade with copies of my first little self-published book}

I love this quote from Brene Brown: "Creativity is the way I share my soul with the world." 

How will you share your soul with the world? What ripples will come from what you share? One thing I do know is that our world will be so much richer for it.

P.S. You can listen to Alex's song rendition of my fifth-grade poem "Peanut Butter Surprise" on my website, and if you'd like a copy of my first little book, it's available here. And here is a free download of my childhood poems with their adult counterparts, in case you'd like to read them.



Friday, August 31, 2012

Guest Post by Karen Smith

Inherited Habits: 
Know When to Honor Thy Father and Mother 

by Karen Smith

We all derive some of our personality from our parents, and some of it from rebelling against them. It’s a healthy, dialectical process: we get to choose which of their beliefs, inclinations, and habits are beneficial to us, and which we can improve on.

Personally, I was raised by a wonderful mother who also happened to be a librarian by trade. Although you would think that this vocation might imply an orderly, organized nature, that part of the job description was not as evident in her own personal life as was the compulsion to hoard.

Admirable enough in the context of a library, where it can be put to use preserving mankind’s knowledge for posterity, this retentive, pack-rat quality made for an unbelievably cluttered house. Kitchenware and other goods, however obsolete or redundant, were never, ever thrown away. Surely, someone will want those someday! Newspapers (remember those?) and magazines were piled and clipped and shredded, and piled again, on any available surface. My sister and I would sometimes joke that our living room looked like a gerbil cage.

My father had the same tendency, though his was mostly confined to the realm of gadgetry and electronics. Boxes of wires that once belonged to God-knows-what. Defunct computers. A whole slew of long-obsolete MiniDisc players, which he had bought in multiples, not because they’d be worth something someday (at least he wasn’t that delusional) but just so he’d never have to buy another one, even if he could find someone still selling them.

Dad also had some bad habits when it came to work. A government attorney, he often found himself working long into the night, due less to any overly onerous caseload than to his own procrastinating ways. He would schmooze and dawdle and not get nearly enough done at work, to the point that it ate into his personal and family life, thus affecting us all.

Unfortunately, as a writer, I find myself replicating this behavior pattern frighteningly faithfully. I’m not in analysis or anything (though maybe I should be!), but I frequently find myself thinking, D’oh! I’m doing exactly what I used to judge Dad for. It’s something I have to actively struggle against.

The hoarding compulsions less so: now don’t get me wrong, I’m no Spartan, but I don’t like clutter. I relish the feeling of control that comes with a well-organized and streamlined household, though without ever being totally anal about it. In other words, I think I’ve found the balance they never did between keeping a sterile and uptight “museum house” and being a complete slob with cars up on cinder blocks in the front yard.

If only I could find that same balance with the productivity issue. Some parental curses are hard to break, as mythology soberly notes. In Christianity we trace this “original sin” all the way back to Adam. But whether you’re religious or not, it’s hard to avoid recognizing that the sins of the father often truly are visited on the son, whether by genetics or environment. We do each have the choice, however -- and the ability -- to be a little bit better than the last generation. We would want the same for our own children. Right?

So think about it: which of your habits constitute a helpful inheritance from your parents? On the other hand, can you recognize places where these ingrained ways of living might be holding you back? Mom and Dad formed you, but it’s your life to live.

BIO: Karen Smith is a versatile freelance writer who often writes for onlinebusinessdegree.org. While her writing focus is trends in small business, she also enjoys writing about the challenges of parenting, continuing education, health, and more. Karen welcomes comments below!